Ode To A KitKat

 

Today the howling winds of the past few days have abated, leaving a warm sunshine that brightens and caresses.  I’ve been sitting outside in the back garden and reading.  I wish we didn’t have to have a Winter as these days of comfortable warmth are too few and far between.

We don’t have nice cushioned garden furniture so I had to make do with a folding chair, the sort you take on a camping trip.  It wasn’t too bad though.  I’ve not been out with friends this weekend so I guess it has been a fairly dull one.  I didn’t have anything planned to do and didn’t have the drive to ring or text anyone to see if they fancied doing anything. 

I don’t really know how I’m feeling at the moment: I am neither depressed nor happy.  I tend to have a little assessment of my mood at some point each day just because it fluctuates rather a lot and also because I’ve got nothing better to do.  Like I say, today I can’t really grab my mood with the right words.  It’s like I just am.  I don’t feel good; I don’t feel bad.  Sometimes that kind of lack of affect can mean I’m actually depressed but not aware of it.  I only become aware that it was a depressed mood when I experience a lift the next day (or whenever), and purely by comparison of how I am with how I was, I realise it was a low level depressed mood.  The big depressions are usually fairly obvious to me.  Anyway, I’ve harped on enough there.

While I was sat outside I ate a couple of KitKats. 

I love eating KitKats in the sun.  The sun softens the chocolate coating and this releases more flavour as it melts easily in the mouth.  They are fun biscuits to eat.  I tear the red paper wrapper away and then score the foil with a nail down the centre of the two fingers.  The foil glistens in the light like tinsel on a Chrismas Tree.  Once the foil wrapper is broken down the middle I can start to peel it clear of the biscuit.  Wherever my thumb and finger rested during this undressing process there remains a tell tale smear of chocolate as the heat from my skin has melted the chocolate away from the wafer.  I hold the silver foil up to the sun and remove the trace of melted chocolate with a dart of my tongue.  A taste of metal under chocolate.

There’s an advertising campaign for Cadbury’s Creme Eggs “How Do You Eat Yours?”, but I reckon it’s a shame KitKat didn’t get there first because there are at least five ways to eat this humblest of biscuits.  Personally, I split the fingers into two and nibble away at the chocolate coating, trying to keep the wafer in the middle intact.  You may not believe me but this is a damn hard thing to achieve as you nearly always end up taking wafer with the chocolate, thus ruining the process.  The Holy Grail of KitKat eating, for me, is to be left with a full length wafer, all the surrounding chocolate gone.  Then, and only then, you can admire your handiwork for a few seconds, before crunching happily through the stripped bare wafer.

I do realise that writing an essay on KitKat eating makes me impossibly dull and I do need to Get A Life!! but for now, this is the substance of my contemplations.  I also obviously need to start having sex again as I can’t keep making love to biscuits!  Not ready for that yet, though.