I think I have some sort of phobia about not getting to sleep ‘on time’. This is a ridiculous notion for me to have, since I am not working to the Mon-Fri 9-5pm rotation. I hate lying in bed for any length of time, hoping to sleep, and not managing. I try in so many ways – relaxation, watching easy TV, herbal remedies, and then the sleeping pill route, if the others don’t help. I have to give up at some point. It’s a tense thing to lie wakeful through the quiet hours, waiting for an event that doesn’t happen.
I am now cloudy with tiredness, pmt and sleeping tablets (herbal and pharmaceutical) and yet I’m awake. This is the moment I declare ‘Sleeplessness! You have won. I give up.’ I’m just galled that I’ve bothered to use up tablets that haven’t worked. I can’t actually name the tablets because everytime I do I get the annoying auto-generated spam. It’s the usual suspects. I spy with my little eye something beginning with di, old school.