I’m like a big grumpy bear. I fucking hate November. I’m doing what I can to outmaneuver the seasonal blues but some days the effort involved in the dodging is arguably counter-productive.
I am in a group at the moment which is tailored to managing chronic conditions (CFS/M.E.), but the basis of it is learning to meditate. It’s actually an NHS thing, which is pleasantly surprising as one doesn’t often come across alternative therapies through NHS channels. I have a CD which I am supposed to listen to daily in between groups – it’s a body scan meditation. I know, there is some confusion between ‘meditation’ and ‘relaxation technique’. The term meditation is used in secular settings in a broader sense than when it is used by Buddhists. Having attended a fair few buddhist meditation groups I know that the body scan would generally be considered a preliminary step, a way to quiet the mind ready for the meditation, rather than the meditation itself. The meditation part would be a specific spiritual idea which the mind concentrates on, to the exclusion of everything else. For instance, I think ‘the sacredness of human life’ was one such focus of meditation used when I was meditating in buddhist setting a while ago.
So, perhaps I am throwing my energy in the wrong direction by trying to avoid the Winter Blues. I suppose the skill of acceptance of where one is at now is a worthy, if achingly difficult, thing to learn. I’m not feeling awful, I just have classic seasonal symptoms – day grogginess, sleep disruption, feeling numb, wanting to eat crap all the time and feeling anti-social. In short, I want to hibernate. I have a lightbox, which I would recommend to anyone who has even mild Seasonal Affective Disorder symptoms.
Bloody hell, how windy is it tonight. It’s blowing a hell-storm up out there – think I’ll stay under the duvet with a hot water bottle tonight. I do hope no one gets hurt because it’s that kind of gale where you hear the next day the trees have fallen over in parts of the country.