Today I am grateful that I did not eat any of my aunt’s Christmas pudding/cake.
I cannot understand the appeal this stuff has with our nation?
For anyone uninitiated, Christmas cake is mainly about
A weird combination of sultanas, cherries, figs, prunes (my nose is wrinkling at the thought), zests of orange (that’s’ the peel, the puckered, thick, outer casing that, on any other day of the year we throw away in favour of the fruit beneath) The Christmas Cake/Pudding turns this concept on it’s head and then some!!
I’m not giving a recipe here, this is just the stuff I have heard goes into these dirge-like desserts.
When I was 10 I said “I don’t like Christmas pudding”.
My Mum said “No, children don’t usually like it. You’ll change your mind when your older.”
She said the same about boys. She was right about the boys.
The Christmas cake remains a mystery.
See, I think it has something to do with the fact that it, done properly, takes so goddamn long to make.
There’s a ritual involving many stages of soaking the wrinkly fruit in alcoholic mixtures, mixing up whatever else goes into it and then, this is the weird part, waiting about six months for it to come to its matured glory!
A Christmas cake is a cake of dried fruit made moist by months of soaking, then packed tightly with a small amount of dark ‘cakey’ brown filling the gaps between the befuddled fruits. Then, to make sure that heavily seasoned, rind-filled gunk stays in cake form, it is covered in about two inches of
cement hard icing. All over. Then back in the pantry for more maturing.
It’s a wonder they don’t need to take a chisel to it come Christmas Day.
I put It’s A Wonderful Life in the title because it got the most hits on this blog by saying those words near Christmas (unintentional, but it’s bugging me that my most ‘traffic’ day was in April 2009. I’d like to move it on a notch so underhand tactics will be brazenly employed until it happens.
Oh, and the weird food combos refers to our leftovers. No other day than Boxing Day is it fine to eat a bit of sausage roll, some chocolate and a bag of crisps for breakfast.